She said her name was "party"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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