Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize