I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
