In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
