found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
