We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
