erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
