I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
