Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
