I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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