Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
