I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
