Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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