I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so let's talk penis.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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