Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
