i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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