I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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