is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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