let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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