I just cut my nipple shaving
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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