I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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