He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
