Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
