Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
