Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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