so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
