Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
"it" just moved
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
