me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
