it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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