You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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