She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
