i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
