yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
