i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
