My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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