Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
