Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
