You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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