I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
