I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
