4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just puked most of my soul out..
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