Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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