are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
