Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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