yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize