Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
