Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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