the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
