Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dignity is for republicans.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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