I saw his package. It spoke to me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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