On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
