Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
