I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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