So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
