First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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