his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
