dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
