yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
