It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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