i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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