I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
