Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
