what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
