Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
