you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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