Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
