and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We are two peas in an std pod
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
