Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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